Last updated : Tuesday, October 13, 2009

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Is He a Player?

Players are abound in the dating world; incurable flirts who will always be on the lookout for the next cute thing. But how can you spot the signs before your heart gets broken or you judge him too harshly? Take this quiz to help determine whether your man is playing you.

1. You're at a party with a date you've only seen twice but whom you find dashing. A couple comes in; the short, balding guy is beaming with an extremely tall blond draped over his arm. She's busting out of her shirt and has on a very short miniskirt. The guy says a big hello to your date and grabs him in a bear hug. Your date ...

A) Hugs the guy weakly while keeping his eyes peeled over his shoulder at the woman "voguing" at his side. When the two of them walk off, your date keeps his focus on her, obviously running his eyes up and down her body. You ask whether they're married but he clearly doesn't hear you and keeps looking in their direction.

B) Winks at her and then winks at you, rolling his eyes as if to acknowledge she's over-the-top, but then watches her walk away before he turns his attention back to you.

C) Hugs the guy and says hello to the date and then turns to you, picking up the conversation right where you left off and asking you a question.

2. You've been dating for months and several weekends in a row you expect to see each other on Saturday night, but he continually tells you that he has to visit his sick aunt who lives in another city. You get exasperated and finally say you want to go with him. He ...

A) Says it's out of the question. She's shy, doesn't like visitors and he needs to spend quality time with her alone.

B) Says he's not ready to get that close but maybe some time in the future.

C) Calls his aunt right away to see if she is willing to have company.

3. The birthday of the guy you've been dating a few times is coming up, and you ask him what he wants. He says ...

A) His former girlfriend bought him a $6,000 watch that made him feel like a million bucks and that he's sorry they broke up because she had such good taste and his other girlfriends didn't spend as much.

B) That he'd like you to surprise him.

C) Shyly that it's just the thought that counts and that spending time with you would be enough of a gift.

4. You're talking with your date about your past dating histories. You ask how many women he's gone out with, how the relationships ended, and if he's ever cheated. He ...

A) Jokes that women can't be trusted, that there's too much temptation in life today. Then says that there's too much candy in the candy store these days.

B) Admits the number could be shockingly high so it's better that you don't talk about such things in the beginning of a relationship because it could ruin things.

C) Tells you that his heart has been broken a few times but is still optimistic that relationships can work out and that people can be faithful.

5. A guy you're good friends says he wants to go to the next level with you. You’re concerned that he comes on too strong. He tells you that he loves the type of woman you are and that you’re the only woman who can ever make him happy. Finally he says you should tell him once and for all if you’re going to be with him or not. You stall and then ...

A) You’re out at dinner with him and a girlfriend and he leans over to her and you hear him tell her she’s the only woman that can ever make him happy.

B) He says that it's typically like a guy to not be able to be friends with a woman he's attracted to, but maybe you two can break the mold and make it work.

C) He apologizes for pushing it too far and says he hopes he hasn't ruined your relationship forever but he's just been too lonely and won't ask you again.

Tally up the number of As, Bs, and Cs and click below to get your results.

Mostly A's: Big-time Playboy Beware! 

He's a real charmer but a "love-em-and-leave-em type" who will sweep you off your feet and then dump you when some other piece of "meat" strikes his fancy. Don't see him again if you can't stand his continual flirting and can't accept that he's seeing you and five other girls who strike his fancy.

Mostly B's: Potentially Curable Flirt

It's not clear yet whether he's just charming to everyone or whether he has a wandering eye that will soon leave you cold. Go out a few more times and observe how he behaves, especially around other hot women before you make a decision whether he can be a one-woman man.

Mostly C's: Safer bet

He’s really just very friendly and a nice guy who deserves a chance to show that he can be true-blue. Don't read into his actions because you've been used to guys who break your heart and two-time you every chance they get.

To find out how you can spot a "loser" click here. For more relationship and dating quizzes check out iMag's Love Section. 

About the Author: Dr. Judy Kuriansky is a world-renowned clinical psychologist, trusted relationship advisor, award-winning TV and radio personality, advice columnist and author. An expert in relationships, she hosted the popular syndicated radio advice show “LovePhones” aired on Z100 in New York, as well as the TV show “Total Wellness for Women” in the southeast and “Money and Emotions” on CNBC-TV. At the United Nations, she is the NGO representative for the International Association of Applied Psychology, a Board member of the Committee on Mental Health, and Director of the Student Journalism Program. Also the director of psychosocial programs for US Doctors for Africa, and a teacher at Columbia University Teachers College, she has authored many books including “The Complete Idiots Guide for A Healthy Relationship” and “Beyond Bullets and Bombs: Grassroots Peacebulding between Israelis and Palestinians.” Her “Stand Up for Peace” band plays at Global Harmony concerts in Japan and worldwide. See www.DrJudy.com.

 

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