Last updated : Tuesday, July 14, 2009

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The Dating, Dining and Dieting Dilemma

Man and Woman dining together

Last night I received a phone call from a male friend who abruptly ended a relationship with a woman he recently started seeing because ... all she ordered was a side salad at dinner. Shocked that he would dump a girl based on her order, I responded, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe she chose a healthy option because she's trying to keep her body in shape and look good for you?" The thought never even crossed his mind.

Whether you're dating or married, the majority of most couples' social lives revolve around food. But many men are clueless about the inner conflict us women battle when faced with the menu date after date. Should we order the "eat like a bird" veggie platter, or splurge on the fattening fettuccini? Let's see a date breakdown ...

1. Man asks Woman to dinner.

2. Woman accepts his offer and skips her workout that night at the gym.

3. They go to a restaurant where appetizers, alcohol, and entrees are generally part of the repertoire (calories, calories, and more calories).

4. Man confidently orders whatever he's in the mood for.

5. Woman debates whether to order a healthy option (salad with dressing on the side) or to order something unhealthier to avoid the possibility of the man thinking she's "too picky."

6. If woman follows "Option A," she doesn't break her diet and goes about her daily routine sans unwanted calories and tight jeans. However this could give the guy the impression that she's way too picky and has bad taste in food.

7. If she chooses "Option B," and goes on several more dates where she continues this cycle of unhealthy eating ... the woman may find herself in a happy relationship, but unable to fit into her skinny jeans. Thus leading to possible future weight gain.

So what's a gal to do? I got the answer from Cynthia Sass, Registered Dietician and author of "Your Diet is Driving Me Crazy: When Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life."

Cynthia Says: Don't hide your true food personality at the start of a relationship. I've counseled lots of couples who end up fighting about food constantly because one disguised his or her true food colors from the partner early on. For example, some women will go "guy style," drinking the beer, eating chicken wings and ordering the steak because they think that's what a guy wants (I call it Cameron Diaz syndrome), even when it's the opposite of how they typically eat. Or on the flip side, they may eat like a bird trying to stay slim or trying to make the guy think they're not a hog when in reality, they live it up when they dine out with their girlfriends. Once a couple settles into the comfort zone, the food faker typically reverts back to his or her usual habits ... the beer drinking/ burger eater sips wine and orders grilled fish and salad girl starts noshing on nachos. I say be up front at the start! Truly understanding and accepting how the other eats is a BIG part of a relationship because couples eat more than doing just about anything else together. If a guy knows right away that you allow yourself only one "cheat day" per week and eat super healthfully the rest of the time, he can either accept it (and not ask you to split a pint of Hagen-Dazs or a pizza while watching TV on a non-cheat day) or decide that it's a deal-breaker. They say couples fight about sex and money but in my experience, food is number three and it's tied to both sex and money! You don't need to spill every detail of your eating habits on the first date, but don't stray too far from what's truly "you."

So what do you order on a date that's healthy, but doesn't appear too picky? Here are Cynthia's top picks:

- Chicken or seafood fajitas. You control how much cheese, sour cream and guac you use as well as how many tortillas.

- Grilled meat or seafood (tenderloin, salmon, and kabobs) with a side of veggies and rice or a potato.

- Stir fry with lean proteins and brown rice.

- Lettuce wraps

- A broth based soup

For more great insight on dieting on date night check out Cynthia's Web Site. Have your own date night dieting tips? Comment below! And for more nutrition advice, log on to iMag's Food Section.

Cynthia Sass, MPH, RD, is a Manhattan-based nutritionist and the creator & co-author of the "Flat Belly Diet." She is also the co-author of, "Your Diet is Driving Me Crazy: When Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life." In addition, Cynthia is a Contributing Editor for SHAPE Magazine and a Nutrition Consultant for the Philadelphia Phillies. For more information check out her Web site.

 

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